I know, I know. I keep switching banners.

So I did it again. I’m slightly apologetic and self-conscious, since constantly switching faces seems to imply a feeling of uncertainty, which generally seems to be a negative thing. And if you were to make that assumption, you would be right because I, indeed, am feeling a little bit uncertain.I keep trying to “settle”. I keep trying to define what this blog this. I’m trying to capture its spirit, its core. I want people to know exactly what and who Fables Den as soon as they meet each other’s eyes. I want it to live up to itself.

That’s a lot of expectations. I don’t think Fables like that. People talk about branding: branding for your blog, for your business, for your services, blah blah blah. It’s like the digital handshake, the professional smile-the first impression you put out to please whoever happens to pass by. You lock eyes. You introduce yourselves. You exchange cards. You keep on going with your day. Or you stay. And become completely and utterly enamoured by the sheer awesomeness of Fables Den–

Khem.

I never liked the idea of branding. It seems so business-like. It’s almost like forcing my blog to put on a persona that is somewhat an authentic reflection of what it is but strategically packaged to attract certain audiences. When I worked on Fables Den’s tagline, I did consider who am I going to attract. Writers. Creatives. Tarot lovers with a more literary and nerdy persuasion. Spiritual wayfarers. I know exactly who I am writing for now, yay!

The truth is, I don’t really know if this is the right thing to do. From engaging in Fables Den’s various social media platforms, I am getting a sense of the type of people who are attracted to my content. Or do I? Maybe I am making assumptions again. Do I really need to figure out who Fables Den is so I can put a certain face on it, so its name has a certain ring?

It’s Den. Fables Den. A cozy nerdy space-time for spiritual nerds and creative souls. For people who are into spiritual wayfaring, productive living, creative storytelling and tarot learning. (Tagline spoiler. Or not, since it’s on the very top of this blog and sorta in your face the whole time.)

The truth is, Fables Den is so many things-it’s really hard to distill its many masses and organic growths and spirit patches into just one tagline. I feel like words can hardly encompass it. Although, Fables Den, as a space itself, does encompass many words. Words of all colours and shapes and textures.

The question is, do I really need to have everything figured out? Do I need to “settle” and stick with that branding forever? People change names to change their destiny and their outlook on life, or to reflect their sense of self-why do I feel the need to settle? Do I even neeeed a tagline?

The truth is, the thought of it stresses me out. When I look at Fables Den right after I switch to a new banner with a new photography, I usually like what I see. Then a few days later, I would start to feel like something is a bit off. It’s like my idea of it keeps on shapeshifting. Or it simply cannot be contained by one banner alone.

Maybe I should just rotate banners, then! I think WordPress has that function, no? You can have several banners and rotate it? Maybe, maybe that’s the solution. If I can’t settle for one of them, I’ll just use all of them! (What about YouTube, Instagram, and Facebook though? Guh!)

After I started to seriously (as in like, committing, not solemn) invest my time, energy, effort and love into Fables Den and its many platforms, I noticed that each and every platform shows a slightly different angle of its personality. This blog is where you’ll find the more literary and text heavy stuff (well duh, it’s a blog). I create content about productivity, spiritual insight, and learning/study resources for tarot. For Instagram, I mostly post original poetry, inspiring quotes, and tarot spreads. Tiny visual and creative delights with a thematic punch. And YouTube. Well, YouTube is where I ramble. Just kidding. I mostly do “presentation” stuff there, or deck reviews. Or “text-driven” vlogs which are essentially a product born out of the desire to express myself with language, coupled with my equally powerful desire to gesticulate.

But yeah, do I need to know what or who Fables Den is? I mean, Fables Den is who I am. Actually, speaking of that-it is also just another angle of my own face. A facet of my creative being. I have too many blogs to count and sometimes I feel like maybe I should just combine everything that I’ve ever written. Merge. Fusion-ha! the whole shebang and be done with it. But somehow, that doesn’t feel right either.

Somewhere Nowhere In My Kingdom is definitely its own thing. It would bite my fingers off if I tried to merge it with anything. I post my poetry there. I also post my poetry on Insta sometimes so I wonder what the difference is. I really don’t know!! Sometimes having multiple blogs is a little bit hard to man, especially when you want to centralize traffic, etc. There, another logistic concern regarding blogging. Bleh.

Having that said, it’s kind of working out though. Most of you who are aware of my blogging will have travelled through the wayward links and known about my other blogs. Probably. Hopefully.

Seriously though, I wonder how many of you have been following me, and for how long? Have I always been in a strand of your consciousness and you would occasionally think of me and come check out my pages? Or do I have hardcore level fans who check my pages every day just to find out what’s new? I really don’t know. What I do know is every time I receive a comment, a post like, a follow–it makes my heart leap. It makes me feel seen. And it makes me feel like I’m not just shouting into the void in this vast blog-verse.

Sometimes I would think to myself: who am I? I’m just an Asian girl who is self-conscious about looking like a high school student at the age of almost 26, and worrying about not being taken seriously because she’s, well, too “kawaii”. I don’t mean this in the way that I think of myself as someone who is adorably cute–I mean the “oh look she’s writing a blog! How cute!” kind of cute where you acknowledge my blogging effort but you move on to the next blog for more “adult” stuff.

Bleh! I think I’m just swimming in my own head and insecurities too much. But sometimes those insecurities are so real because I do get judged for those things. Looking too young. Not being taken seriously or being treated like a cute kid. Or, when I’m in my darker moods, being Asian. I don’t know if my fellow bloggers who are white ever face this fear. Sometimes I feel like people would be either dismissive or ultra-critical because I have a non-white background. And I’m blogging about the English language, literature and symbolism.

Insecurities are paralyzing, man. But I do my best. I try to love myself everyday. On the days that I don’t or when I love myself less, I hug myself and tell myself that it’s only a day or two. And those short days needn’t define me. And I keep calm and carry on.

To those of you who are following me, thank you. Really, from the bottom of my heart. I would say I have a relatively small (but growing!) following compared to the more “successful” bloggers (I need to stop the comparison game, guh!) I want to say that I am unworthy of your love, because I’m just a tiny spec in a grand blogniverse, but on the contrary, thank you for visiting and coming to my blog. On my darker days, you validate me. You strengthen my dwindling sense of worth. I want to say cheesy stuff like “you shouldn’t place your own worth on something so external.” Like I’ve gotten over it already, all wise and shiny. But when it comes to your creative work, it does get a bit personal, no? For the most part I’m okay and I am not going to feel like a complete failure if nobody follows my blog in a week. But on the days when follows and likes and comments do happen–man. I do light up! I light up because you show up in my world like a ray of warm dazzling sunlight.

So thank you. Really. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I love you so much. And I hope you continue to support and love Fables Den. 🙂

And I sweeeeear this was only meant to be a banner update and a brief blog post about creative identity. But oh well! My muse has led me thus far.

Until next post-you sexy bedazzles.
Kimberly

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