My creative and spiritual journey has taken an interesting turn. What is my creative and spiritual calling? I’ve been trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together. How can I combine all that I know, all that I am, all that I love into something that I can share with the world?
I’ve been blogging about tarot–tarot reading, tarot writing, tarot reviews, tarot and spirit, etc. I have also been trying to establish myself as a tarot reader. I thought this was it–tarot reader + writer. Tarot combines my spiritual passion, my desire to be a healer and lightworker, and writing as a means of creative expressions all into one.
Don’t get me wrong, I have no intention of stopping. Tarot feeds a huge part of my soul and fills me with vibrant energy. Something else is emerging within me, however…
Other than being a gargantuan tarot nerd, I am also an English tutor. Teaching is also one of my life’s biggest and deepest callings. For the past couple of months I have been trying to figure out how to organically fuse the two very different yet undoubtedly connected parts of my life together. English tutoring. Tarot and spirituality. They don’t seem to intersect at all, but subconsciously I knew that there must be a way to put them under one umbrella. So I threw them into my cauldron of life and let them simmer, not knowing what I would get at the end of it.
And as the soup of my soul and the colour of my spirit bubbles and changes, I think I am beginning to have an idea…
At first, I thought about fusing them in very physical and literal ways. Maybe I can introduce tarot to my tutoring services, but that might be kind of odd–not to mention that the majority of my students are under the age of 18, and giving them a tarot reading might not be the best way to help them learn. True, I can use tarot to help them understanding their strengths and weaknesses as a learner, and maybe help them develop a better relationship with learning. But how do I bring the parents on board? Not to mention that a lot of the tension a student experiences may come directly from their parents. If I volunteer my tarot service to help them gain insight about their learning situation–who knows what I will unearth? How do I even begin to facilitate that kind of interaction? In a way that defeats my role as an English tutor. I work with the parents and students to help them with their language learning, and throwing in their psychological well being and process into the mix doesn’t really contribute to their academic improvement. In short, I decided that it was way too complicated.
Then I thought about bringing tutoring into my tarot practice. So what can I do with tutor + tarot? Tutor tarot? After a quick search, I found out that there was already a tarot tutor on Youtube, and thinking about this possible path doesn’t really fill me with excitement. I feel like there are already enough card definitions out there available online and via published tarot works…and how do I get “students”? Somehow imagining tarot in a tutoring setting just doesn’t click. Personally, I’m not really interested in reading another book of tarot definitions myself, since I don’t like to be spoonfed what a card means. I would very much like to uncover the definition myself and explore an archetype on my own terms and interpret it with my worldview.
I then started to ponder on my approach and philosophy as an English tutor. In short, my ultimate goal is to assist my students and help them develop the skills that they need to function independently as a learner, as well as to challenge them to think critically so they are able to problem solve when they encounter issues with writing in the future. I mostly help my students excel in writing, and writing, at its core, is a creative and logical process comprised of a series of choices.
Process. Choices. Those are familiar terms that I frequently use in my tarot practice as well. What I believe about tarot is that it offers us clarity and helps us explore our psyche. With a better understanding of what we are facing and what is going on in our innerscapes, we are able to make better decisions to empower ourselves. We can use tarot cards to guide us towards the next step of our life’s journey. Ultimately, it is about what we choose. Do we choose to fall back into our old patterns and resist change, or do we choose to empower ourselves and cultivate a more fulfilling life?
It is a journey. A process. A choice. Choices.
The connection is becoming clearer and clearer. What I offer as a tutor is new perspectives + useful tools for a student to create and problem-solve their writing. When I offer as a tarot is also new perspectives/insight + useful tools for a person to create and problem-solve their lives.
Tools. When I looked back at my blog posts and some of my Youtube videos–something that really gets my creative engine fired up is coming up with ways, exercises, or tools that will help a fellow tarot wayfarer to gain better understanding of their own tarot practice. For example, 5 ways to explore a single tarot card, or tarot writing series: brainstorming characters…they are all essentially “tools” that will help somebody discover insight and truths on their own terms.
Tools. I looked at my own tutoring practice: when do I get a creative kick? Not surprisingly, it’s when I am designing worksheets, lesson planning, and or coming with discussion questions, say, that will help students deepen their understanding towards a poem. Or formulating paragraph response questions. Or coming up with graphic organizers that can help students analyze a short story. These are all incredibly process-oriented. I am helping my students with their process of analysis and understanding.
Tarot + tutoring. This is the convergence. Process. Tools. This is what I love to do: creating tools and exercises to aid in somebody’s journey. It’s kind of like a tarot reader, which I enjoy being + doing…but I feel like I am more like a spiritual peddler carrying and offering small miscellaneous goods that will serve as a power-boost on somebody’s epic journey. I imagine myself traveling with a little cart, pulled by a down-to-earth pony with milky mane–and when somebody approaches I am all excited to be opening up my little portable shop and be like, “Hey!! So what do you need today? I have some maps if you’re lost, and some quills and ink if you need to write down your thoughts and do some trip planning, and ALSO I have these bags of dried lavender if you’re looking for a good night’s sleep….and yeah, that over there is a bag of lizard food, if you happen to be carrying a hungry lizard…oh you have a sore knee? I don’t have medicine for sore knees but I DO HAVE some instructions on dance therapy that can help you stretch out your muscles and help you heal…”
You know how I know this is my true calling? That this is an authentic expression of who I am? Not only does it feel so right…I actually cried when I typed out that previous paragraph. A spirit peddler. Not a grand teacher of some sort, not a wise sage hidden in the mountains that must be sought out, just a creative and endearing traveler like many others, just somebody who wants to share the little gift items she’s made with the people she’s come across. I’m not even kidding. My face is covered by my tears right now–that’s when I know my spirit is happy. That’s when I know I’ve touched the truth in my heart.
A spirit peddler. Kind of a cute title, eh? It’s so funny because I’ve always been kind of goofy and adorable LOL!! Gross that I am saying this about myself, but it’s true, haha.
As for what goods I am peddling…hehe. You shall see. Stay tuned. 🙂